scrive N., un amico palestinese di Betlemme

My friends,

The time is the midnight, I’m trying to sleep but I couldn’t, many thoughts come to my mind and I have to do something, something pressing my chest, I try to cry but I cant because everything around me is silent, it is the curfew, no cars, no life outside, and I’m not allowed to shout or even cry because I’m a man and I learnt that men don’t cry (I like to cry and I cry from inside but secretly).

Why all this pressure??? Why the world is pushing us to violence?? I try to find excuse to the modern world but I don’t find a way, may be because I’m blind….!!!

I’m thinking mostly of my American friends, may be because I studied there and I have thousands of friends from there, and I know that all my friends are good people who have great values. I think a lot of Notre Dame University and specially the library where I read hundreds of books about democracy, human rights, and nonviolence, and I think why these values don’t influence the American policy and attitude towards the world. Are these values real or a tool to dominate the world and be the masters and the police of the world?

I’m saying that and feel pain inside me because I don’t hate you, I even love you, I love your country and your culture, but I have many questions inside me, why do you hate us and try to depress us? Why you push us towards violence? I’m talking as a Palestinian who knows that it is your guns, your tanks, and you’re Gas which is being used against me. It is your money which is being used to confiscate my land. It is your government which prevents any just solution to my conflict.

We don’t hate you; we are not against you, why you are against us?

Why the double standard you are using in all your decisions and policy?

I’m wondering what we can do to persuade the Americans to recognize our rights. It is now more than 50 years of living in refugee camps and more than 35 years under military occupation and emergency laws, and two years under closure, starvation, and curfews and you ask us to be quite and teach peace and nonviolence. What is more violent than occupation and preventing children from schools and giving birth on the check points?!!!

It is now 20 days I’m trying to hold a workshop in our center for students on human rights and nonviolence and every day we decide to begin the Israeli army declare a curfew … and I thought every day we will succeed to hold the workshop, how to begin it and what answers I have for the questions of children about the relation between what I will say and the situation we are living??!! And honestly I feel of fear and depression even I consider my self very qualified and expert in the subject, I still have doubts inside me, I began to question what I do. After 20 years of nonviolence life, of struggle for peace and justice and having relations and cooperation with many Israeli peace activists and organizations, I am still a suspect in the Israeli security files. 20 years of struggle inside the Palestinian community for dialogue and peace, by writing and working in schools and universities and I’m still a suspected person.

You know my friends, the Israeli security have never recognized us as humans, the best Palestinians for them are the traitors, they don’t recognize a Palestinian even if he or she has a PhD. Or any position. We have to stop always in front of the check points and get humiliated and abused, weather if we are peace persons, educated peoples, doctors, teachers, children, women or even politicians we are the same, we are equal in humiliation and discrimination. This is the just.

And even that we have to stand in front of our students and teach them nonviolence, democracy and human rights and not to mention the occupation or the America aggression by supporting the occupation. We have to respect the free world and always to look to them and talk about them as ideals and to fight to have their blessing as good children!!!

Again and again we are not hating you, we are not against you, we don’t want to fight you or hurt you, please note that. Palestinians are not Arafat, and Iraq is not Sadam, and Islam is not Ben Laden, Palestinian are a people of 6 million, Iraq is a big country and Islam has more than billion people.

We are all humans, we are all human who like to live in peace and have children and care for others. We don’t have nuclear weapons, we are not occupying others, and we want to be free, independent and to live like any other small countries with respect and peace.

We are asking your leaders to look to the mirror and see who is producing arms and who is selling arms and who is preparing for wars. What is the worth of the values of democracy if these democratic countries leading wars and producing arms and colonizing poor countries. Why this democratic countries don’t make dialogue and can’t build peace. Why those democratic leaders don’t listen to the people in the world to the demonstration in their countries and outside, to these cries which ask to stop war and killing for oil.

The value is not democracy, it is the oil, it is the money, it is not the value of human life, it is not important to kill 400,000 Iraqis in one weak but it is important to have cheap oil.

The killing is just killing what ever the frame we put it in. violence is violence what ever cover we put on it. We ask you in the USA to demolish your nuclear weapons, to stop producing arms and to reconcile with the world.

Britain is the only country which colonized many countries in the world from India to the Middle East to Africa, but never apologies for its crimes against humanity or asks dialogue to reconcile with those peoples and still one of the most violent countries hiding behind the USA to keep its evil powers.

Again and again we don’t hate you, we are not against you, and we are against war, against killing, against violence, against all kind of arm and militarizing the world. The problem is not in the poor countries, it is in the democratic countries. Most of the arms are produced in these democratic countries. We don’t need more arms, we need food and clothes, enough for killing from all kind direct or indirect, and we have to fight wars and terror, to stop killing by arms or groups in the name of values or religion or politics or any reason.

I’m asking all Muslims not to use Islam as excuse for terror and killing, I’m asking all Jewish to stop killing in the name of god. I’m asking Christians not to use Jesus to justify wars. Killing is killing, GOD is peace and justice it is enough for hate.

Finally I apologies if I hurt anyone I don’t mean that, hoping to understand my reasons.

Yours in peace & reconciliation,
N.